The Center for Advanced Reproductive Services is a part of the First Fertility family of centers. Learn more.

Overcoming Valentine’s Day Challenges When Infertile

Many holidays we celebrate are focused on families—and for those struggling with fertility—on the babies they don’t yet have. While Valentine’s Day is really focused more on couples, still, it can bring its own kind of stress.

While some couples can consciously reconnect with their partners and indulge in the many standard Valentine’s Day romantic options, others can feel burdened and become more anxious by the added expectations society places on this “lovers’ holiday”. 

Those without fertility challenges will never understand how disruptive fertility treatments necessarily are to the romance in a relationship. What used to be private and intimate has suddenly been thrown into the light, exposed, and placed under the literal microscope. While most prospective parents don’t think twice about sacrificing some privacy in the quest for a baby, fertility treatment can temporarily impact their love life.

Fortunately, continued advancements in assisted reproductive technologies and higher success rates for IVF can mean shorter infertility journeys for many patients. But if realizing that baby dream is taking a bit longer than expected, the daily grind of testing and treatments, semen collecting and/or timed intercourse can make it hard to keep the passion in lovemaking. 

When all a couple wants is takeout pizza in sweatpants and midnight baby feedings, a Valentine’s Day focused on chocolate hearts, satin sheets, flowers, and champagne fall far short of what the heart needs. And those who are single—by choice or by circumstance—and are unable to have a baby of their own also suffer on Valentine’s Day. In fact, having neither a partner nor a baby on Valentine’s Day can be extra painful for those who wish for both.

Infertility is hard on even the strongest relationships. There will be bad days and not-as-bad days. But if the time comes where are you or your partner feel you can benefit from professional counseling, the Center offers support that can help ease the tougher times. HealthCircle, our holistic approach to fertility care, can help you enhance your fertility treatment plan with programs that are meaningful, relevant and personal, including supportive counseling. We offer many individual and group solutions that can help overcome fertility obstacles, provide relief from emotional stress, and support and guide you on making the best decisions for treatment. 

The most important thing to remember–you truly are not alone.


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